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25th September 2008
I hope we don't end up like them
My sister has been married well past a year now. The wedding was lovely, their child is the light of my life, but their relationship is far from perfect. :
He's in Iraq. He comes home soon, thank the heavens..but there is so much fighting and anger with them. I'm sure things will get better once he's home...but it makes me worry about Dan and I...and how things will be when we run away to Bolivia and get married. (if it happens, of course, which I kinda see it happening. :P )
Will he still love me as much as he does now? Will he still be as sweet and kind? We don't see each other much, which kind lets us have our own lives while still together, which is always a good thing. Being around each other...24/7...That's a whole new thing for us. Might be a bit weird, a bit scary.
I guess I'm just nervous. I don't want to fight with the man I love oh so much, but I know it'll happen eventually.
18th September 2008
new Job! :
9 bucks an hour, 32 hours a week. benefits.
Sucks I wont get to talk to Dan as much as before...but I'm happy. The more money I save, the sooner I can be with him. <3
30th August 2008
A wonderful weekend with the one I love. :
It's blissful. Angel Marathons, WoW Suggestion Forums, a great family...that I can't wait to be a part of.
20th August 2008
"I'm taking a test in December" :
"What..What kind of test?"
"For the State Department. If I do will, I can move over seas...and..Well, I was wanting to know if you wanted to come with me"
I think my boyfriend just proposed to me over the phone.
13th August 2008
Aint he the cutest?
6th August 2008
Anyone interested in playing for the first time? :
Send me a message of leave a comment here. I have an offer for you that'll blow you away!
2nd August 2008
Y'know what sucks a lot?
When the boy of your dreams is 3 hours away.
Close enough to see all the time, but far away enough that you can't afford to see him all the time.
one week till I see him again..and it's driving me insane. Totally...and utterly insane.
27th July 2008
A bit of a REAL update, for those who care...
Well, I post once in a while...A few sentences here and there, a bit of words here and there to discribe this thing I call a life.1.) The Boyfriend, Dan.
Yes, I know, Another boy in my life to make things even more complicated than they should be, right?
His name is Dan. The Son of a woman who worked for the State Department. He lived around the world, from Asia to Brazil. He lives three hours away, down in Miami. Met on a 4chan dating site. Funny, huh? I believe, with all my heart and soul he is the one...my soulmate, my life, my world. I can not wait to spend everyday with this boy. 3 months, Silly, I know. But if he asked me right now, I'd say yes and wear that ring until it merged with my skin. He makes me days brighter, my nights warmer and my life so much sweeter. As Min said about her Orph...He makes my life a sonnet.2.) Lanuria, Hand of A'dal.
WoW is...well, WoW. Darkspear is wel, Darkspear. Fat jokes, harrassment I can't put up with anymore. it's gotten insane. Today I debated xfering off...just to get away. But I wont. I can't.
We killed Illidan. I wasn't there for the kill, naturally..but it was still awesome.
SV is still my spec of choice...and I wouldn't have it any other way.3.) College and the failure of DMAC.
So I failed outta DMAC. didn't see that coming a mile away, eh?
The running back and forth from Boca to Okeechobee, the stress of Dave (the ex) and all the people, the fact I wasn't happy..I guess it piled up at once...
html didn't help the situation either. >.<
I start IRCC this semester. Maybe I few classes. Apparently, since I have ADD, I get special classes and what not. Kinda cool considering I am a bit fck'd up in the head.4.) Dave
out of my life. thank the gods.
5.) Where I am going.
I'm going crazy, I'm falling in love and it's all so amazing.
25th July 2008
These last few days have been mentally, physically and emotionally draining.
But in the end, I caught up on my sleep, started the wonderful thing known as my period and found out that the boy I wanna spend the rest of my life with...
Wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
6th July 2008
this hurts more than anything...
Sometimes, I really think my family thinks I'm just the fuck up, the accident in their lives. :
and it's the worst feeling in the world.
Lately, I have become one who wants to be in a family. Start one or something...I look at Dan and His mom's relationship and I yearn for that with my mother. I want that.
I don't want two kids. I want one little boy, my Vega. I want to give him all the love a mother can give and watch as (Hopefully) Dan gives him all the love he wanted from his father. I don't ever want my child to think he's not as good as another one of my children....therefor, I'll just have one.
I don't want him soon. No no no, I'm not ready. I won't be ready for a while....The only thing I'm ready for is my family now to accept me for who I am and what I do...because feeling like a fuck up to the people who should be the closest to me is an awful feeling.
3rd July 2008
Getting Burnt Out
I wanna sit in Nagrand and Role Play with you until my eyes fall outta my skull.
I love my guild, I love to raid. I just think I'm getting burnt out and I don't know what to do. If I log into Lan, I get an invite, If I don't log into Lan, I don't have any way to role play out this fantastic story Dan and I have going on. I'm torn between telling my GM I just want a few days off and just not showing up to raid at all. I can't do that...but how do I tell Orph "Hey, look, I'm tried. I just need a few days off" without sounding bitchy?
It's cutting into my sleep...my work. If it starts cutting into my relationship, I don't know what to do. But in the end, I know we'll do fine. I"ll get my break, I'll kill Illidan and I'll feel better...but Raids going to 2 am my time are no good. Fckin' East Coast. At first, it worked out great...but Now, I feel like I'm getting older..I need more sleep and what not.
I am getting older. I'm almost 22. I feel like settling down...is this normal?
30th June 2008
So today, I start my diet.
Current Weight: 194lbs
Goal Weight 160 by August 29th.
Ugh. Bye Bye Coke. Bye Bye Snacks during Raids. :(
but it's for the best. I'm so unhealthy right now. it's no good.
29th June 2008
You're asleep in my bed right now yet I can't fall asleep. I've forgotten what it's like to fall asleep in the arms of a man I can trust and love.
Anyone wanna help?
also: word of advice. When he says he wants to be your Lestat....Don't let him. The Embrace leaves Hickeys that hurt in the morning.
27th June 2008
I have a problem
Of wanting to save the world. :
I've noticed a trend. In my daydreams, I'm rescuing him. In my stories, Lan is destroying those who have hurt her beloved. In Raids, I'm always there trying to calm people down and be the happy one who saves the sanity of the raid. In real life....I need the rescuing. Funny how that works, eh?
Last night's raid blew. No good loots, Angry GM is angry, people suck. I hate a few guildies...though I shouldn't. but it happens. Personally, I only Dislike two. Sucks because I can't be rude to them. My GM really likes them. *sighs* I love Orph. He's such a sweetie, a nice guy. but sometimes I wonder how he puts up with us.
"I R GLAD SHCTOR"
"Toez played your account"
"you're a bad hunter"
"Go eat a dick"
"WHOA CHILL BRO"
"Can anyone make potions?"
"YOUR MOM CAN MAKE POTIONS"
I dunno how he does it.
Ugh, Im Procrastinating like crazy. need to go run errands, drop off bills. Need to clean the house before Dan comes over tomorrow (can't wait to see that smile of his. It melts me.) I don't mind being the Housewife. It's kinda fun. Music blaring in the house while I mop, Sweep, do my laundry...it's kinda nice.
Well, I guess I should get motivated. pioce
23rd June 2008
I had A dream I got /gkicked from my guild last night. Pretty sad actually, threw me into a depression like state in my dream. Woke up kinda bummed. I love those guys, they are my second family. You'd be surprised at the kind of tolerance a raid group can teach you, and the amazing friends you can make there. Like Min! I love her to death, a true, happy soul that walks this Earth with a smile on her face, I can tell. Her writings are amazing, her soul is beautiful. I envy her at times, like I envy everyone...but She's an amazing person. So many amazing people..Some, I can't stand. I don't think my tolerance can go that far, but I try.
My poor Dan. He called me a few minutes after I passed out, upset because he told me not to call before I went to bed. his voice sounded sad on the voicemail. I never wanted to jump through a phone more than at 3 am this morning when I got the message. "I feel bad", No! don't feel bad. it's a silly phone. You were sleepy, love. "Still, I shouldnt.." No no no. Don't frett. Boys are silly, but they make me happy. As long as he's happy with me.
"Lets name our children after stars" I jested.
"Vega Dailey. Has a nice ring to it." He jested back.
I don't think we were jesting at all.
"I love the city"
"move in with me"
"Why not, we might as well try it out and see how it goes. If it doesn't work, it doesn't..but I don't see that happening"
I don't wanna fall so quickly for this boy. 2 months, and already, we have our children's names? Some people think me to be crazy. I am. You didn't know that? I'm insane, I fall too quickly. I love to hard. I care too much. But it's not a bad thing right now. I'm floating on clouds with every step I take. I don't feel like getting rid of that feeling.
22nd June 2008
"I don't have a dream girl" he said to me as I lay on his lap, his fingers playing with my hair ever so gently. It's Midnight, the middle of the city, in the back of my car just talking of life.
"but I'd like to think I found the girl of my dreams."
He kisses my forehead.
I'm pretty much floating right now.
21st June 2008
thats me at the moment.
18th June 2008
So tonight I cried. :
I really wish it was saturday.
I love it when you call me Love.
16th June 2008
I like to make them think I'm insane....
Is it the party that ain't over 'til it's through?
Is it the wiring that's suddenly blown a fuse?
Is it a chemical that makes this moment true?
Is it the music that connects me to you?
Your song it gets me by
When you're singing I'll be with you 'til the exit time
I was rockin' a guitar at work. I was a rock star. When I opened my eyes and came to, I was in the middle of Arby's....with a Broom...And this kid was lookin' at me. I smiled, tipped my hat and went on with my merry way. He drove off with a goofy smile on his face. I'd like to think I made his day a little brighter with my performance, but who knows. I was happy, I didn't care.
I'm still up in the air about my life. College? I dunno. Maybe it's not right for me. Or maybe it's just this college. I've tried a lot, nothing seems to work. I've actually been thinking about settling down soon. Maybe in the next 2, 3 years. Not any time soon, naturally. But I think I finally got this down right....
I said that about every boy, haven't I?
Okay Okay, I hope I finally got this down right. If not, oh well, QQ moar, etc etc. I've had my heart broken plenty of times. I'm sure I could survive one more crack...I just rather not.
Hopefully I don't fuck this up too bad. Time to break off some old ties, destroy some old stuff and try and explain my past to the boy who will hopefully be in my future for some time.
<3 I'll write more when my life gets interesting.
12th June 2008
: I would have sold all my possessions
Never took piano lessons
But baby you're a grand
And I will learn to play the good notes
And tune you up the best I can
And I just might say it tonight
I just might say it tonight
I just might tell you tonight
That I love you
And you should stay all my life
Everyday is a new song with him. Everyday, A new level, a new quest, a new song.
It's pretty awesome.
26th May 2008
You shoulda asked me for it... :
I would have been brave
You shoulda asked me for it...
How could I say no?
20th May 2008
I don't think I'm cut out for it.
I'm taking the summer off to figure out if College really is for me. After two years of running around boca and not getting anywhere, I don't really think I'm cut out for this thing. Maybe graphic Design isn't for me. Maybe I just should work, pay off my debts and work a 9-5 job like everyone else. It seems like the only reasonable thing to do right now, sadly.
14th May 2008
I forgot how to trust people.